This time, this time is so interesting to me.
Over the past 6 months I have had some of the lowest times, but oh, the highs I've had too.
Let me start out by saying, that because my life is my work, and my work is my life the two cannot be separated. They are intertwined, woven so tightly. The atoms intermix and dance together in a beautiful song. The energy passes from each state so fluidly as though there is no barrier between them.
Therefore, the journey I have been on to find my true self, might feel very personal, but it's also very professional. I can tell this process is drawing out an artist inside of me. Someone, something I knew was there all along, but wasn't quite ready to emerge.
She's ready now.
I see her regularly, and when I get a moment to embody that true artist I feel an overwhelming sense of peace. I feel at home.
It was as if through all these years I was a puzzle piece trying to find it's true fit. Other things felt ok, good even. There were times when I thought for sure I was where I needed to be. And maybe I was where I needed to be in that moment, that instance, that time.
But this, this feels different, this is different.
THIS IS ME.
Currently she is fleeting. She comes and goes. Sometimes my true self stays for hours. Sometimes days. But she's growing, getting stronger, staying longer.
It's hard for me not to rush her. I want her so badly, my head says I'm ready. My heart knows to be patient. To take the time. Sort it out. Fine tune the details. Let her have her time to grow so that she may shine so bright.
I keep telling myself, it's more about the journey than the destination. It's ok to not be there yet. Because I will get there.
I know I will.