Wednesday, December 23

The End Of A Year, The Start Of An Era.


 The rain is relentless here in Seattle.
We're living up to our stereotype at the moment.
I'm nestled under a quilt next to my chunk of a dog who is unapologetically mid-day snoring.

I'm feeling warm and cozy and full of gratitude as I consume endless pots of Christmas Blend.

Thankful really.

This year was more than just another circle in the endless spins around the sun.
What the last 365 days held for me was remarkable.

Imagine closing your eyes one day, normal & average and waking up realizing you have magical powers.

It happened to me.

This year.

And it can happen to you.



I went into 2015 just a simple person.
Hustling, working, breathing.
I was someone who loved to craft.
Someone who made things with my hands, and someone who was lucky enough to send simple bits and pieces of that work off into the world.

But I was also someone who longed to be so much more.

I watched artists create amazing, magical, transformative work out of what seemed to be nothing.

I was in awe of their powers.

In many ways, January's cold was filled with fierce jealousy. Dreaming to be more, but frustrated with not knowing how to get there.

And so I did the only thing I knew how to do.

I worked.

I continued to hustle day in and day out.
Diligently.
Relentlessly.
Endlessly.

Some days the work came easy, but more often than not, the work was hard.
Painfully so.


I felt so extremely frustrated at times.
Frequently I could see glimpses of things I'd want to create, but the ideas would never fully form and in an instant they'd be gone.
My body would physically feel tense,
my cells swollen.
Like and itch I couldn't scratch, the creative block would consume me.

I'd try anything to relieve the mounting pressure.

By spring, I had experienced a few moments at what my own artistic voice sounded like.  A deep, thundering, powerful voice rooted deeply in the PNW.
Yet simultaneously gentle and calm.
Grown from nature and spiked with a touch of feminism.
Bursting with inspiration and insight.

But the most important thing I learned while the last of the snow thawed in the foothills, was that my voice was just that.

Mine.


And it was unlike any others.

No one has had the experiences I have had.
No one else thinks or feels exactly as I do.
And this, what I used to think was my downfall suddenly, became my strength.

By summer, I had realized I was special.
Unique.
I had important things to say and share.

Rather than hiding them away, rather than trying to sound like someone else,
rather than follow the masses.

I knew I had to choose the right path.
I had to go my own way.
Although harder, oh so important.

The current was wickedly strong and finding my footholds on my path was challenging.

I wish I could look back and say I made my way with more grace and poise, but I stumbled.

Time after time.
Major, epic fails that I will carry with me for the rest of my days.


In the end though I believe I made it to the other side.
My perspective so much different than a mere year ago.

I have significant,
important things to share with the world.
I have magic to weave.

In 2015 I was a crafter, a maker, a follower.
2016 I am and artist & a leader.

But what I wish most of all, is that you know that you too hold magic within yourself.
If you only take the time to look.
You are wonderful, and special and unique.
You have powers no one else has.

My powers are new and fresh. I have transformed from caterpillar to butterfly, but my wings are still drying. I think I'll spend a lifetime learning how to reign them in. How to be at the helm of this life.

But I'm thankful to know I have them.
Hidden for so long, but never to be put away again.

Find your magic.
Weave it so.
Share it with the world.

2016 here we come.

___

This piece a little glimpse at the magic.
Weaved subconsciously.

I don't know what drew me to buy this little carved horse, but as soon as I saw it I knew she belonged with me.

A little out of my normal purchases, but so incredibly beautiful. I didn't have a plan for her. In fact, I didn't know if she would ever be used or just added to the collection.

When she arrived, I was surely smitten, and quickly realized I had just the pairings for her. Like a puzzle I didn't know existed, they came together perfectly. Almost as if they were custom cut to be together.

And it's time like these that make me wonder... how on Earth did I come to own all 3 of these puzzle pieces at the same time? Matching parents from 3 different suppliers from 3 different continents. Soul mates if I ever saw such a thing.

Pure and utter magic has graced me. I hope I did them justice.

Believe in the magic friends.


Available here until sold. 

  Carin







2 comments:

Zara TracesOfPolish said...

I love reading stories like this! An artist finding her voice is inspiring to watch!

pencilfox said...

such a sweet yet powerful story!!
you are coming into your glory, now....