I find myself in this place for many reasons.
I've chosen this life, but it also chose me.
My ability to push myself.
To drive forward.
It's the mode of transportation that got me here.
I set the destination, but this ability drove the way.
I now know, this is something unique and special.
I have used it to get to this beautiful place.
A place where I can make with my own two hands.
Where I can create day in and day out.
But this, this is not always a gift.
For the past week or so, I've shut down the torch at the end of the day empty handed.
I turn off the lights and close the door tight behind me in hopes of forgetting the frustrations of the day.
I submerge myself in family.
In conversation about anything but the studio.
I play games with my son.
Yesterday was the worst.
I left the studio feeling broken.
The lowest of lows.
Working on a project that is so outside my comfort zone brings so much frustration.
So much self doubt.
Searching for answers, I came across something magical.
"My advice to you is to soften into the discomfort. Accept it. Know that it's gifting you growth, fuel, and grit. Whatever it may be that you're claiming this year as your desire and dream, I wish you the comfort within the discomfort. The stillness within the unease. The softening within the stretch. And mostly, I wish you the match that lights and revives the fire to keep you going. Because you can. Keep going."
And it was just what I needed.
And so today, I took a step back.
I realized that I do have walls and limits.
We all do.
But they are not permanent.
These boundaries can move, but with slow gentle pushes.
Deep breaths and mindful movements.
It's how I got here, and it's how I'll get to the next level and the next.
I'll never be stagnant.
It's not in me.
But I will be good to myself along the way.
Keeping my body and spirit in mind.
I won't ask myself to do too much.
But also not too little.
And I hope you do too.