1st Day of School

I cannot believe what happened this morning. I dropped Kaleb off at elementary school.....


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... even just typing that makes me tear up. I cannot believe how big he is. I vividly remember the day he was born, the day he first rolled over, the day he first say "Mommy." None of that feels far away enough to say that I have a child in pre-K.

This whole experience has really come a year earlier for us, as we moved him to this amazing elementary school in pre-K to ensure him a spot for his next year.  I sort of feel like by doing this, I shorted myself out of a year of him being a baby.  Logically there isn't really a difference between sending him to pre-K at his old school verses his new school. Yet emotionally it is night and day for me. I had to take him back to school shopping, he has to bring a big boy backpack, he has a real cafeteria that serves hot lunch, he doesn't need me to walk him in anymore.  Where in the world did the past 4 1/2 years go?

I tried to prepare myself over the past few weeks for what I would have to do today. I wanted to be strong for him and make sure that he felt comfortable in his new environment.  I am proud to say that I made it through this morning without falling apart, but even as I type this I feel like if someone eyes me the wrong way I'll burst into tears! Proud, scared, excited... are all running through my mind right now.

As I walked away from this school this morning I noticed a tiny little house for sale across the street that has the perfect view of the main entrance and playground, and I promise you, as crazy as it is, I seriously thought about trying to buy it. It's way to small, it's in horrible shape, we're not buying a house any time soon, but what it does have is a window that I can look out of to make sure that he's OK during the day.  They could list the 800 sq ft house for $1,000,000.00 and I'd still want to buy it.

Luckly these first few days are only 1/2 days. I know he's having a great time in his new class, but I don't know that I could make it a full day today without him!